


Script Edit

by arrow (esteefee)



Category: due South
Genre: April Showers Challenge, Crack, First Time, Fourth Wall, Humor, M/M, RPF, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-09
Updated: 2008-03-09
Packaged: 2017-10-17 11:21:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/176336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esteefee/pseuds/arrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arrow types.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Script Edit

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [**ds_flashfiction** self-insertion challenge](http://community.livejournal.com/ds_flashfiction)

Arrow typed her name and started writing cautiously, a little afraid to continue. This danced on the edge of hubris, she knew. The Gods might very well strike her down. Honestly, the Greeks were terrified of such shenanigans for good reason. Usually the punishment involved lightning and/or involuntary transformation into some kind of animal.

But, jeez, it was just one little RPF, and it wasn't like it was OOC or anything. The man had been _quoted_. It'd be the easiest thing in the world to take it one step further and write—

Paul thought about it a little more, teetering in indecision. Callum wouldn't object, he was sure, after _Wilby_ was such a success around the world. And maybe the stupid Americans (bless them) were finally ready.

Yes, it was time, really. Paul cracked open rev.14 of his script, _due South: The Movie_ , and scrolled to page 212. He started typing—

`FRASER: "Meat bullets? I'm afraid I've never heard of such a thing."`

`RAYK [STARTS TO WAVE HANDS, RECONSIDERS, KEEPS CLUTCHING THE TREE LIMB THEY ARE SUSPENDED ON]: "Meat _balls_ , Fraser. Don't tell me you haven't heard of meatballs and, hey, think we could discuss this later when we aren't being attacked by polar bears?"`

`[OVERDUB OF POLAR BEARS GROWLING]`

`FRASER: "Yes, well, I do take your point. [LONG PAUSE] But don't meatballs require some sort of filler—?"`

`RAYK [CALLUM SHOULD DO THAT THING WHERE THE VEIN STICKS OUT ON HIS FOREHEAD]: "AAAARRRGGGGHHH."`

`FRASER: "Oh, splendid. Look, Ray: it seems as though your mighty growl has put them off. They're leaving!"`

`RAYK: "I hate you so much."`

`FRASER: "Yes, I know. But it's a good hate, isn't it?"`

`RAYK: "It's—"`

`FRASER [INTERRUPTS]: "And it's not as though I said we couldn't _try_ to make you some meatballs tonight. We still have some of the caribou left; perhaps we could mash it between some rocks."`

`RAYK [SOFTLY]: "You'd do that? You'd make meatballs with me?"`

`FRASER [NERVOUSLY]: "Ah. You know I'd do anything for you, Ray—"`

`RAYK [DUCKING HIS HEAD]: "Because this maybe isn't the right time or anything, but I've sure been—"`

`FRASER [DETERMINED]: "I would be _honored_ to make meatballs with you, Ray."`

`RAYK: "—wondering, you know? I'd really, really _like_ to make meatballs with you."`

`[LONG PAUSE. SOUND OF CRICKETS CHIRPING.]`

`RAYK [PLAINTIVELY]: "This is the part where you kiss me, Fra—"`

`[FRASER SCOOTS FORWARD ON THE LIMB AND PLANTS ONE ON RAY. WITH TONGUE. HOT AND HEAVY KISSING ENSUES, REAL KISSING, NONE OF THAT WIMPY HOLLYWOOD CHEEK-MASHING. THEY BOTH REACH UP TO TOUCH EACH OTHER AND THEN PLUMMET FROM THE BRANCH TO LAND FACE-FIRST IN THE SNOW]`

`RAYK [VOICE OVER, MUFFLED]: "I really do hate you, you know that?"`

`FRASER [V.O., CONTENTED]: "And I, as well, Ray."`

`[FADE]`  


  
Paul saved the document and then closed his laptop with a wicked grin.




Arrow posted the story to [](http://community.livejournal.com/ds_flashfiction/profile)[**ds_flashfiction**](http://community.livejournal.com/ds_flashfiction/) and looked up, waiting nervously for the lightning. A spider, maybe, or perhaps they'd turn her into a turtle. It would be worth it.

Besides, she really liked turtles.

  
[END]

  
....................  
2008.03.09

  
Original link: **[Script Edit](http://community.livejournal.com/ds_flashfiction/603791.html#cutid1)**  
  


  



End file.
